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conversation with "The First" - Good Mourning [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
wasabi_nose

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conversation with "The First" [Aug. 28th, 2008|05:37 am]
wasabi_nose
more of a monologue, really.

Well, I was talking to a coworker, and I realized that finally I can say, in honesty, that I am over her. I can say this because I'm not basing my decisions on having known her anymore. Obviously, every little thing we have done, experienced, chosen, lived--it all forms who we are now. But I don't think about her when I live for myself anymore.

Ironically enough, it got me thinking about her. Well, he said something that reminded me, the only way I can relate to some other people.

In any case, in honesty, I had to think deeply on why there was some lingering resentment. And I thought about her, and I thought about the good times, and I thought about why it didn't work, and some other things. And I came to a monologue that sounded similar to this.

I do wish you well, wish you a caring Pisces. It was nice to walk with you for a time, but I arrived at one of your trademark crossroads, at the bubbling T. Ironically enough. Damned if I was controlled by you, and damned if I wasn't. I did everything I could do to win back your heart, but you had already come to resent, and to loathe me so. And now I don't love you anymore. I want someone better.

And that's the point, really. Dare I to want someone, someone to make me want to be better.

Well, that's what Rese said, at least. Nevermind. I should've closed this journal long ago.
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